Biology textbooks are being hastily rewritten today following the discovery of what appears to be two entirely new and distinct species of gaming professional.
Previously thought to be just one singular species, biologists have now discovered that in fact the ‘game journalist’ and the ‘pro gamer’ are functionally distinct in several important ways.
“With new technology, we were able to scan beyond just the surface stuff like the videos and the livestreams and really take a look at what lies beneath,” explained chief gaming scientist Tiffany Cunningham.
“What we found was a quite astonishing variance in species characteristics. For example, we previously assumed games journalists were extremely good at playing games, simply because earlier scientists had improperly grouped them with pro-gamers.”
“With the benefit of this new knowledge, it’s clear that pro-gamers are the ones doing all of the high-level playing, while games journalists are busy with reporting, analysis and interpretation – quite different functions in the ecosystem.”
The news has drawn criticism from the controversial GamerGate think tank and associated gaming biotruthers, who insist that “there is only one species” and that any “so-called scientists” are needlessly politicising a system which was working perfectly well.
Cunningham disputes this criticism however, saying the science is solid.
”At a casual glance of course it’s easy to confuse games journalists with professional gamers, since they do share some characteristics like unstable employment, low pay, and a minimal chance of a stable career path beyond the age of 35, but they are actually quite distinct.”